Just the beginning….

The strains of an African tune filled the car as we cruised through the wildly varying landscapes – from mountains to valleys, rivers to lakes and dense forests to open meadows. 700 miles of these over 5 days across Montana and Wyoming. We were graduating from being just good road trippers to real campers and adventurers.

It was nearing the end of one of the best years of my life. And it was the end of the summer of 2012. We decided to end it on a high note by visiting Yellowstone and Grand Teton – two of the finest national parks in the US.

Labor day weekend unlike many other long weekends is usually very busy since it’s the last weekend before fall starts and the gloom of winter sets in soon after. We decided to pick these two parks since they are among the lesser visited parks and because of the lack of proximity to large cities do not get as many visitors as parks like Yosemite or the Great Smokey Mountains.

We landed in Billings, Montana and started driving to Red Lodge which is an hour away. It’s the last town before we start ascending into the treacherous Beartooth Highway. There is something about small towns in the US that I love in the way they welcome travelers, the little cafes and bars that remain engraved in your memories and those people you meet along the way. The plan was to spend one night in Red Lodge and start early next morning towards Yellowstone National Park (YNP) via Beartooth highway.

Red Lodge

Red Lodge

The Yodeler Motel towards the edge of the tiny town of Red Lodge provided great accommodation. You could actually walk the whole length of the town in about 10 minutes. As we shopped for supplies for our camping in YNP, we marveled at the various little bars and cafes dotting the singular street comprising the town. We decided to stop by the Bar at the Pollard for a couple of beers and snacks. One of the great pastimes that we have is creating background stories of people we come across during our travels. Our waiter seemed to be a recovering addict and we had to give it to him for trying – especially in this tiny town where it is so easy to get sucked into depression and relapse. He seemed to be making a good effort even with his smokes in between serving us. We had a couple of pints of Guinness while remembering Sid’s Birthday. The taste of Guinness in  the US is nowhere close to that in Australia – or maybe we just believe what we want to.

We decided to rest for a while because we were tired with the 8 hour long flight and later decided to go for dinner at the Bridge Creek Back Country Wine Bar and Kitchen – long name but then it lives up to it. One of the best things about traveling in US is the variety of local brews you find in every town and state. I tried the Beltian brewed in Belt, MT and it turned out to be the best Belgian White I have tasted so far.

The walk back was peaceful, calm and cold. Red Lodge is nestled among mountains such that in every direction you see you find mountains staring down on you. They are like guardian angels watching over you while you sleep. Maybe that’s what keeps the people in such towns happy and satisfied. I thought about all those nights we spend battling our fears and worries in big cities. I wondered if what was needed was to quit all those pipe dreams and do something worthwhile with your life. Maybe what was needed was to move to one of these towns and spend the rest of your life there. Maybe we were just too tied down. Maybe it was all in the head.

View from the Beartooth Highway

We woke up early and decided to have breakfast in Red Lodge before heading out into the mountains. Cafe Regis was a family run cafe which served an amazing breakfast which set us up until lunch. It was time to start driving towards YNP. The Beartooth highway is labeled as one of the most scenic drives in the US. It is a treacherous highway which goes through the Beartooth pass at nearly 11,000 ft altitude. It starts at Red Lodge and ends in Cooke city which is just before the YNP north east gate. It is only open during the summer months and even of then most of the highest peaks still have snow on them. It is a game of speed, fear and nature. You drive through quick switchbacks and short straights – always a game of fear versus nature. The entire way is like a never ending postcard. Green slopes and sharp cliffs along with lakes and creeks make it complete.

We stopped at a lake for a smoke and a few photographs. We met a biker fumbling with his helmet. He was a middle aged man riding a Harley Davidson motorcycle with a camera mounted helmet and was trying to create a video for his wife who couldnt come on the trip. He gave us some advice on the best parts of YNP and Teton and we were then on our way. We were bubbling with excitement of our first night in YNP and our first camping trip together. We finally made it to the park at 4 pm and decided to take a look at lower falls before we headed to the campsite. By 5 pm we reached the Canyon campground and found our campsite located in loop B. We now had to put to use all the rental equipment we had picked up from Billings, MT. For Neha it was the first time pitching a tent and it was fun. It was quite similar to other tents that I have used in the past and we had it up in no time. Once we were set with everything we decided to have a couple of beers and then started the fire. This is always the most difficult part. Luckily this time we were prepared and had some fire starters. And of course there are always the helpful neighbors who pitched in with some paper and twigs.

Standing by the campfire

Standing by the campfire

Nights in campgrounds are eerily silent. It’s a test of your patience and your comfort level with your companion. You can hear yourself breathe and every thought gets magnified multiple times. You’re afraid of someone hearing your thoughts, your apprehensions and your deepest secrets. But here in this world no one is an enemy. No one passes judgements except yourself. You think about your ancestors and how they survived in this hostile environment, how they battled with themselves more than with the forces of nature or wild animals and you realize how vain city life is. The dark, caressing shadows of the night rock you into a soulful sleep hoping you would wake up a different man.

Grand Prismatic Springs

Grand Prismatic Springs – View from Fairy Falls Hill

Next morning was spent wrapping up the remains of the night’s camping and memories to last a lifetime. We drove off in search of another eventful day. We spent the better part of the day visiting the Sulfurous geysers and marveling at nature’s beauty. At Grand Prismatic Springs we were disappointed by the view from the ground. So we decided to hike up a nearby hill to view it from a vantage point near Fairy Falls Hill.  Our climb was tense since it was a back-country trail and there was the inherent fear of bears. The hike was steep, short and strenuous but in the end the view was beautiful. We almost pitied the hundreds of people who were missing out on this experience.

Next up was a long trek to Lone Star Geyser. This was a backcountry trail and was infested with bears. It was a 6 mile long walk and we had to be very careful. It was my first experience with fear of a different kind. Being city bred I never had to worry or fear about animals and such. This was different. It was just you in the middle of the forest with a can of bear spray hoping it would be sufficient to defend against the beast. The trek was long and tiring but I think in the end it was worth every yard of the long long walk. At end of the trek we came across a clearing with a large stone spouting steam and standing graciously in the middle of the open space as if guarding its territory. The lone star geyser erupts every 3 hours and we were patient enough to wait for an hour and a half for the next eruption. It was magnificent. As we made our way back we came a fresh set of bear prints on the wet soil, but luckily no freak encounter with one.

Next up was a trip to Jackson Hole. It was a good 3 hour drive from Yellowstone while passing through the Grand Teton national park. On the way we came across Lake Lewis and decided to spend some time there and have a beer. It was serene and calm. We were alone and sitting there quietly hearing the little waves of the lake crashing against the boundary. It was a moment frozen in time and something I would remember forever. We always manage to carve a private spot right out of the madness wherever we go. This was one of those.

Lewis Lake

Elk

Elk

We continued on to Jackson Hole which was a beautiful little ski town built on tourism. We had some fun with the toboggan ride and a trip to the highest ski lift in the USA. The way back to Yellowstone was eventful with at least three separate animal sightings. We saw grizzly bears, elk and pronghorn deer. All during the same drive.

Soon as we reached back to our cabin, we started preparing to leave the next morning. We knew the trip was over, but it was the end of a terrific year together and the start of something new. Out there over the horizon there were many roads untraveled and many cities beckoning us. It was time to look to the future to all those road trips, the happiness of being in a foreign land and melancholic last evenings. It was time to look South, to the land of the Incas.

Of Bays, Sin City, Death Valley and Red Rock Country

San Francisco to Lee Vining

The biggest attraction of our trip to the west coast trip was the epic road trip that we were going to do. For us it has always been the favorite aspect of any trip. Hence, when we reached San Francisco we decided to cut down our time in the city to just one evening and the following morning. It was probably the wisest decision we made on our trip. Large cities have never interested us. Small towns where you can breathe the everyday life of the people and feel their warmth are what excite us.

A view of Sausilito

A view of Sausilito

The best parts of San Francisco for us were Sausilito and Marin Headlands. We left San Francisco brimming with excitement of beginning our road trip all the way to Nevada and Arizona. We stopped on the way at a local bar near Oakdale called Whiskey River Saloon. A far cry from the bars of the city. This was a gritty place where travelers stop by. Bike riders from everywhere stop here for a beer and a game of pool. We both ordered a pint of Corona and they way they served it with a pinch of salt, it was probably the best beer I have had on the road.

Marin Headlands

Marin Headlands

These are the places that I long for. Not the swanky city bars or those upscale restaurants, but little places that touch your heart – whether it was the little bar in a dark alley in Talihina or the lone bar that stood in the burning heat of Northern Territory, Australia. Stories are made in these places and itineraries are forged for life. Beyond the closed doors that restrain the highways and the speeding mangle of metal and rubber, there is a life that only the road trippers understand.

Our first stop on the road trip. Lee Vining.

Lee Vining to Bishop (Devils Postpile and Rainbow Falls)

Mono Lake

Mono Lake

Lee Vining is a really small town – almost like a gateway to Yosemite. We decided to do Yosemite as a drive by since there would be too many people and we hadn’t really planned it. What we were really interested in doing were some local attractions like the Devils Postpile and Rainbow Falls which were all a part of the Inyo National Forest. We woke up in the morning and had our breakfast at Nicely’s which is kind of like a diner and had an almost home cooked American breakfast.

Rainbow Falls

Rainbow Falls

We went to Mono Lake to look at the Tufa structures. After a while we started driving towards Devils Postpile and the road was beautiful. It was a deserted twisting and turning interstate with picture perfect surroundings. The exit toward Devils Postpile was clearly marked and as soon as we got off the interstate the road became a single lane scenic drive all the way up to Mammoth Lakes Resort. My first and honest opinion about the place was that it was extremely commercial and touristy. We almost had a bit of an argument about how good or bad the place was.

The only way to up to the Devils Postpile trailhead is to get on the shared buses that ply every 30 minutes from the resort area. We got onto one of those with the intention of doing the Devils Postpile and the Rainbow Falls trail. First up was Rainbow Falls. The hike was small and easy and it got over pretty soon. We decided to hike all the way to the Devils Postpile monument from Rainbow Falls instead of taking the bus to the trailhead. It was a longish hike and we had no water. We decided to hike it and had water from a flowing stream on the way. We finally reached the Devils Postpile monument and it was brilliant. As good as we had expected.

Devil's Post-pile

Devil’s Post-pile

Next up was a drive through Yosemite. The whole park was overcrowded with people. It could be because it was the 4th of July holiday, but all in all we were left underwhelmed by the park because of how commercial and easy it was. We decided to drive to our next destination – Bishop, CA. We picked up a hitchhiking couple on the way back. They were quite young and seemingly irritated because their trip didn’t work out as planned. We decided to drive back to Lee Vining and drop them home which finally made the girl stop crying. When I saw them so young, and hitchhiking their way through, it almost made me realize of all those lost years when I never traveled. Of all those places I could have seen and all those crazy things I could have done. It was time to go onwards to Bishop and time to think of all the places we would travel together in the future.

Bishop to Death Valley

Driving through Death Valley

Driving through Death Valley

Roads that speak of a gritty and glorious past. Valleys that whisper the secrets of the Gold Rush. And as the name suggests you are not welcome here. This is death valley. Not for the faint of heart and nor for the ones lacking an adventure. We sped through the lifeless highways with nary a car in sight. Except for the occasional bird of prey, nothing survives here. It’s the Wild West in its true sense. The roads heave in a wave formation with crests and troughs after every few meters. We enjoyed the bumpy ride feeling right at home. Soon we reached the lowest and the hottest point in the valley. We stopped among what looked like the first signs of civilization and marveled at how they survive these conditions. A gas station, a convenience shop and a saloon for the thirsty Travellers. We decided to cool off with a beer, collect some memorabilia and move on to our next destination, an oasis in the desert. Las Vegas.

Las Vegas

Coming into Vegas I did not think that it would be as overwhelming as everyone says and Neha was all gung-ho about it. But it is the moment you get close to Vegas after driving through death valley when you realize that it’s an oasis in the middle of nowhere and its teeming with people and their hopes and dreams and greed.

View from our Bellagio room

View from our Bellagio room

It’s a place where there is no difference between day and night, between big and small, between rich and poor, between indoors and outdoors. It’s as if you are stuck in a weird time warp and trying to make sense of it all. We spent the first evening walking through the gigantic Caesars Palace and looking at the multitude of shops and restaurants. We had dinner at Bellagio and hit the sack early since we had traveled through the better part of the day.

Next day was 4th of July and every place was chock full of people. A big lunch in Planet Hollywood and a few drinks in Cosmopolitan and we were all set for the day. We lounged around all day and as evening approached we got ready to have a couple of drinks in Hyde, watch the Fountains of Bellagio and go for the Cirque De Soleil show, “O”. It was the last evening in Vegas before we head into the deserts of Arizona.

We woke up early the next morning to check out of Bellagio and start for the Red Rock Country – Sedona, Arizona.

Las Vegas to Sedona (300 miles)

We started southeast from Vegas towards Arizona and soon we were on flat roads and plains stretching far into the distance. However since we decided to stick to the interstate to save us time, there were quite a few cars around. By the noon we crossed Hoover dam and stopped for lunch at a Mexican restaurant called Titos. After a hearty meal we drove for nearly 4 hours when we came across a road sign for Sedona which was different than what the GPS suggested. We decided to follow the road sign which took us via a scenic route. Good decision. However we were very low on fuel and I really hoped that we got to Sedona without incident.

Sedona – The Red Rock Country

We were staying at the Desert Quail Inn which was a really nice motel and after a brief conversation with its Indian owner we realized that he was a Gujarati too. They are truly everywhere from Talihina, OK to Bishop, CA to Sedona, AR and they are one of the most enterprising folks I have known. He recommended the Oak Creek Brewery for the evening and that’s what we decided to do. A short 15 minute drive later we were there and it was beautiful. Nestled between trees and a fountain this was a quaint little place for weary travelers to cool off with some nice brews.

Sedona is a place with a beautiful vibe, there is beauty and calm everywhere. If you believe in barren beauty then this is the place to be. I equated the place with Yulara near Ayers Rock in Australia. There is a sense of restlessness and greed among the backpackers and travelers here – greed to consume all the beauty of the place within a few short days, to meet the fellow travelers and hear their stories and nod in agreement, to help new travelers find their way around and to grab those fleeting moments and hold on to them forever.

Devil's Bridge

Devil’s Bridge

The next morning we set out to conquer the Devils Bridge trail which was a medium difficulty hike. It was tough driving to the trail head since the road was practically non-existent and we had a rental car that we needed to return in a good condition. We decided to leave the car on a dirt trail, halfway to the trail head. We walked to the trail head and started the steep hike up to Devil’s Bridge. It was difficult in parts and we realized how unfit we were to tackle it. However we went on with adequate halts to catch our breath. It was a beautiful view of the valley from up there and there was a serene calm to that place. The only sound you could hear was of the wind and the muddle of thoughts in your head. The way back was a lot easier except for the sun blazing down on us.

View from Devil's Bridge

View from Devil’s Bridge

End of Road

The Trip: Bangkok, Pattaya, Cambodia

Partners in Crime: Sid and Me

There always comes an end in a journey of wandering souls and the beginning of something new. For us it will be the fact that Sid is getting married in 2011. This was something of a last journey together. Something of a memoir to remember life as we know it. Things may not be the same again for both of us, but they won’t be bad. They will be different. The beginning of a new era. A new chapter of life. And what best way to end it than visiting Thailand and Cambodia in a beer-filled haze. Memories of many evenings are but a fraction of what we would usually have. The beer did the trick. We walked with Singha.

Day 1, 2: Bangkok

The build up to the trip was intense with the amount of work we were squeezing in everyday. That’s the best way to enjoy any trip. Work yourself up to a point of frustration and then you can really take anything that a trip would throw at you. We landed up in Bangkok on the weekend of the Kings birthday. Started off the first day with some awesome Thai food with a friend who was in Bangkok. She helped us out with some of our planning and also took us around to the Chatuchak market. Probably the only place in the world that can beat Khan El-Khalili in Cairo.

The two days in Bangkok passed by quickly with evening spent in company of Singha beer and thai food. What we were looking forward to was the next leg of the journey. The road trip to Siem Reap, Cambodia.

Day 3, 4: Siem Reap

Monday morning presented a challenge. We had to wake up early and get onto a bus for Aranyaprathet – the border town on the Thai side. A 6:30 AM bus got us started off on the 5-hour trip to Aran. Although the trip was uneventful the border at Cambodia was one big scam. Luckily for us, we had read about it on the internet and being Indians we were used to getting scammed on tourist locations. We are naturally trained to be street smart while going out as tourists.

We got the visa the authentic visa counter of the Cambodian officials (they were very helpful and friendly) and avoided the scams going on  slightly before the border. Next step was to negotiate with a cab driver to take from Poipet to Siem Reap. It was a good 2 hour drive through the country side with small towns along the way – we started off with an Angkor beer which was really awesome. The driver gave us a taste of Cambodia by eating a bag full of insects in the car. Thankfully they were dead and fried – or we would have had a situation.

We slept off the afternoon to be ready for the eventful evening tht followed us. Siem Reap is famous for the number of pubs it has. There is a street near the old market which is called Pub Street. This is half a kilometer long and is lined up with pubs back to back on both sides of the street. There are all different kinds of pubs from Irish to Ghetto to Oriental to Hip-hop.

What followed was a rampage through the street – going to atleast 3 different pubs. At the end we settled at the Ghetto styled pub called “Angkor What?”. Funny name we thought. The bartender was a young guy with stories to tell of his travels. As the bar filled up so did we with beer after beer. We started chatting with some random Canadians and played several rounds of pool with them – of course towards the end we were kind of drunk and barely knew what was happening.

Its funny how closed we are while we meet strangers in our own lands but never exchange a word. Maybe all we share is prejudice for each other. Maybe its the way we’ve been brought up, maybe its the culture in this country. But when we travel we are different people. We are bound by the common thread of backpacking. Of being among the adventurous few. When we travel, we are no longer Indians or Canadians or Americans or Europeans – we are travelers. We share experiences, we share lifetimes. Its those memories that stay with you forever. I still remember my conversations with random strangers in Yulara out in the wilderness of the Australian outback even though its been nearly three years. It is these experiences that define a journey. Its these strangers that make your travels worthwhile.

On the second day of the trip we visited the ruins of Angkor Vat. These are the temples and the ruins that have witnessed centuries of struggle and genocide in a land where god abandoned the people. With the towering branches and roots gobbling up the Ta Prohm temple it almost felt as if various secrets are being protected forever. The eerie silence in these ruins weigh heavily on us and after noon and lunch we call it a day. On the way back to Siem Reap we are greeted by rains which are a common thing in afternoon in these parts of the world. The air is damp and we enjoy the ride back to Siem Reap and thank ourselves that it was not a car/ cage, but an open Rickshaw.

Day 5, 6: Pattaya

Welcome to sin city. Its a city that lives on sex. Sex is sold on streets, in bars, in hotels, in shops, on the promenade, in the alleys… everywhere. The beach road in Pattaya is something that I will miss the most after the crazy town of Siem Reap. Rows and rows of pubs interjected by small allies – yet again filled with pubs and go-go bars. They all end in one giant culmination called the walking street. Try to walk this street without being felt up atleast once and I will give you a thousand dollars. We walked around on the beach road and walking street, enjoyed all the sights and sounds of Pattaya.

We realised that it was cheaper to buy beer from 7/11 and drink it on the streets. After all it was all legal here. On the beach street, in every direction you look, there will be atleast one 7/11 (except of course in the direction of the sea). After two nights of fun and debauchery we were ready to return to Bangkok and end the trip.

Day 7, 8: Back to Bangkok

The last few days in Bangkok were uneventful but we had a lot of fun by going to different bars. Last night in Bangkok we went to a pub called The Rock which was really awesome with a live band playing some hits from Metallica and Megadeth. We were almost tapped out of cash by the time we got out of the pub. It was a long walk back to the hotel.

The nights in Bangkok envelop the city in an almost deafening cloak that keeps the good insulated from the bad. The bright neon lights camouflage the distress of the thousand of girls and the desires of men. Under its willing arms, Bangkok conceals a lot. I wonder what we would have discovered beneath the mask and the guise if we had but stayed on longer…..

…. But the secrets would have to wait as we bid farewell to the city that marks the end of an era for us. To new beginnings and to growing up…

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Just hanging on to life as days crumble into the dark dust of the night. Its not the loneliness that drives me crazy, its probably the norms of the society that I try to follow – but fail miserably each time. These norms that form the very basis of human interaction take precedence over friendships that have developed over years, over relationships supposedly forged in metal. It drives me to desperation. Drastic steps to fill the void. The travel to different countries and cities forms the interlude that keeps the cycle from breaking; its what keeps me from disappearing into the sunset. Thoreau said, ‘Most men live lives of quiet desperation’ and I wonder how different am I.

As the sky turns crimson in anger at the setting sun, I sit here in my darkened room with thoughts of Thoreau and McCandless and Bukowski and I wonder what greatness beseeches those men in death that they couldn’t achieve during their lives. What drives us to the brink of abandon yet pulls us back? Why wasn’t McCandless ever pulled back?

All but specks of our imagination running wild into open fields – chasing winds and diving into valleys, afraid of falling, climbing the heights, teetering over the edge looking down into the abyss, heart fluttering, afraid of death, sights on the goal, pushing as hard as you can, what drives us? The challenge, a point to prove, but to whom? To those who have long forgotten you, but those mocking eyes still pierce your heart and as Bukowski would put it:

“Amazing how grimly we hold on to our misery, the energy we burn fueling our anger. Amazing how one moment, we can be snarling like a beast, then a few moments later, forgetting what or why. Not hours of this, or days, or months, or years of this… But decades. Lifetimes completely used up, given over to the pettiest rancor and hatred. Finally, there is nothing here for death to take away. “

Desolation Angels

What started off as a casual idea of us doing a road trip together soon snowballed into a plan and set off several things in motion. Over the course of 5 months, I got my US tickets, the visa and made a plan to visit my sister in New York. What hinged my trip to my travel philosophy was the lure of the road trip through 4 states. New York, Virginia, North Carolina and Tennessee.

The route? New York – Winchester – Doughton Park (via skyline drive) – Great Smokey mountains national park (via Blue Ridge Parkway and Tennessee Interstate).

The drivers – Me and a friend from engineering days

The car – Chevrolet Cobalt (never ever rent American cars. They suck. Period.)

The start – Jersey City, New Jersey (0 miles)

The trip started off with a bounty-hunt trying to find the rental car in the sprawling West parking deck of Newport Mall. As she drove us out of the city, I could almost feel both of us slowly shedding the worries of work, the daily grind, the urban fears, the heartaches and everything that held us down.

First stop – Winchester, Virginia (250 miles)

When you are in a fairytale town and there are things you want to say, it becomes that much more difficult to hold them down. And I swear I could have cried in that little town. Not out of sadness but out of hysteria at the tipping point of the year that went by, out of the fear of the finite nature of this journey, out of the fear of pouring my heart out. We were living in a fairytale. We were two souls thrown together with a common purpose – to find ourselves through this journey, to find a way out and to change what we could not in the urban chaos. As we walked along the cobblestone streets of downtown Winchester, we saw the quaint little town in all its resplendent beauty. Little bars with happy and content trippers – maybe some travelers. An old man with a very familiar face gave us the best advice on relationships during the trip. The Irish stuff was slowly getting to me. I never wanted to go back, but the alcohol weighed us down after a while and we walked along the dream and back to our room. When I woke up in the morning, I could have sworn that last night was a dream.

Second stop – Bluffs Lodge, Doughton Park, North Carolina (650 miles)

What lay ahead of us was a 100 miles of the beautiful skyline drive in the dreamy Shenandoah valley followed by hundreds of miles of winding roads in the Appalachian range. The day’s target was to reach the only inhabited place along the 600 miles of Blue Ridge Parkway called Doughton Park. A million overlooks rolled by on both sides of the parkway. We stopped at a few to gawk at the sprawling mountain range and appreciate man’s creation jostling for some attention in the selfish show of nature. As I smoked a cigarette at one of the overlooks, I could almost hear myself breathe in that silence that surrounded us. The air, clean at this height and damp with the impending rains.

As I tired after a while she took the wheel only to be greeted by a dense sheet of fog, lashing rains and desolation. I wondered if this was her comeback. She battled the rains as it became a tug of war – sometimes the rain slowed her down and on others she tore through the rain with determination I had never witnessed. After her trial by the rains when I took over, we had a minor fuel scare. We managed to get through the situation nearly scraping the fuel tank in the process after which she slept sound only to wake up at Doughton Park. There was a sense of accomplishment as we opened the bottle of wine and chugged a few glasses before going to sleep.

As I stepped out in the morning, I was greeted by a beautiful panorama of rolling pastures and lonely scattered trees. A quick breakfast at a typical North Carolina deli and we were ready to hit the road again.

Third stop – Great Smokey Mountains, Tennessee (900 miles)

Every trip has a purpose whether you set out with it or you find one during the trip. Road trips are designed like that. For some people there is nothing glorious about driving a 1,000 miles to reach a camping destination – however what they don’t realize is that travelers do not seek glory. We do not seek acceptance. All we seek is answers – though we never get them. The day you start getting your answers is the day you stop being a traveler or it’s the day you die.

As we snaked along the parkway in the bosom of the Blue Ridge Mountains I knew the purpose of this road trip. Catharsis. I needed to change things about life. I needed to come up with things I wanted to do differently with life. (However, I didn’t come up with a list until later while doing the Highline walk in New York City). What we did come up with were lists of things we both wanted to do before we died. Our bucket lists.

Day slowly turned to evening as we finally slid off the Blue Ridge parkway almost saying a good bye with a heavy heart. We weren’t sure if we would ever be able to come back or if things would be the same if we ever did manage to return. A small Applebee’s diner in a Tennessee town saw us through our lunch and we continued onto the Tennessee Interstate tearing down to Cosby, TN. The goal was the reach the Great Smokey national park before the last bit of sun went out and the black bears came out to play. As fate would have it, it rained that evening and we ended up spending the night in the car – brought back memories of Australia when we spent several nights sleeping in the car. We did manage to light up a fire for a brief period of time and got high enough to be able to sleep it off.

Fourth stop – Gatlinburg and then back to Jersey City (1,650 miles)

The next day we headed towards another dreamy little town which finds itself ensconced among the high ridges of Great Smokey Mountains. We had an elaborate breakfast after which we started heading back to Jersey City. I found myself feeling depressed through a large part of the trip back, because let’s face it, the thought of a big city invariably has thoughts of the mundane life and the urban chaos associated with it. Though New York City has a charm of its own, I can’t help but feel boxed in. At the same time, the thought of ending the beautiful 4 day journey came bearing down on me. We stopped yet again at Winchester on our way back and we went to the same bar. We couldn’t believe it when we saw the same old man yet again! Winchester lifted up my spirits as we started talking again – talking about our heart-breaks, talking about where life was heading, about a million other things. As we sang along to songs we loved, we rapidly zipped through the Interstate highways at 80 miles an hour. The lights of Jersey City loomed on the horizon and it was time to say goodbye.

Lost…

A quart of whiskey. A pack of cigarettes. Life pissed away while waiting for something to happen. Loneliness. Hysteria of being alone. The search. The failure. The pretensions. The sadness. End it all. Drink it away. Wish you don’t wake up. Hope for utopia. Hatred for mankind. Where does it all end? Struggle. Constant struggle. Never ending, but always hopeful. Pass out……..

Turn the Page

Change is good :)

My apologies to all those people who had the patience to read my ramblings and post their wonderful opinions. I could not hold on to the comments. But sometimes its best to let go of the past and start afresh.

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I still remember that evening over Coober Pedy. The sun setting against the backdrop of a lazy mining town with a hundred dimly lit homes bracing themselves to see through yet another night. We were weary travelers back then… It was one of those evenings when life couldn’t get better. I long for that evening. I long to be that weary traveler again.

Evenings in Paradise

The joint was burning out at a blazing speed as he took suffocating long drags, the smoke from which burnt everything along the way – at least whatever was left. In one final exhale he let go of the smoke, caressing it slowly with his lips, as it curled up densely towards his nostrils for that final take. It’s been 20 years but the streets still reek of those fucked up memories of freedom and utopia. That’s how they seemed now that he was 45 and wishing he was dead at 25. The last two decades of his life rushed by in a haze of the sweet smoke drowned in copious amounts of whiskey – and on good days, beer. He looked at all that happened in these years and realized that it was but a mere time lapse. Deep inside he was still that free-wheeling, rubber burning itinerant he was at 25 and that’s how he always wanted to be. But he was trapped.

A million dreams escaped him when life took that fuckin’ turn several years ago. All the hopelessness and wanderlust was taken away in one rash decision. All that remained now was this life of ruin and confined to this city he always loved. Night after night a part of his will died. He had surrendered to this life of worldly and material success but lost his conscience and his dreams in the cruel bargain. He’d lived his life on dreams spun by Kerouac and a world seen through the eyes of Bukowski.

*****

It’s time to roll another joint and finally strangle this evening to death. It’s a weekend and like the several hundred weekends that have wobbled by me, I am sitting at my den among these junkies. Some of them are familiar because I have been seeing them since several years. The faces are familiar but here nobody talks. That’s always been an unwritten rule ever since I chanced upon this place in my usual stoned walk in the evenings. Most of the junkies have forgotten the difference between the god-gifted plant and chemicals. I had always vowed never to touch these chemicals – because, after all, it’s made by men. This place is a broken house which was probably once ravished by an old Indian family. What once was the living room is now our den filled with smoke and the wretched smell of the ‘chemicals’. The light is enough for the junkies to find their veins and for me to grind my plant with tobacco. It’s not far from my home, but it’s beyond the reach of the ‘civilized’ and ‘mature’ world that began engulfing me several years ago.

*****

His wife sits at home and waits for him to come back so that she can take care of him yet again. They don’t talk much anymore. They never did after those first two years when he was still young and had a zest for life. It all went downhill after that. Nowadays, it was just brief sentences exchanged out of necessity rather than want. She hated the man he had become and he hated the wife she didn’t turn out to be.

*****

It’s late at night and I’m still reeling in the smoke of that last joint. I hear the incessant drops of rain trying to pry open the fuckin’ roof and steal our last Shangri-la. The dampness is felt in the room. The chemical junkies have all passed out, yet again and I have the perfect solace among this crowd. The phone rings. I fumble the switches and try to answer in the most straight voice I can conjure. It’s the wife – the only connection I have left with the world. It’s time, I think.

Traveling Through…

Hundreds of palm trees crowding out a small mud-house as if waiting for the perfect time to encroach. The house itself lies obliquely along a small hillock overlooking the rail tracks. It seems completely oblivious to the drone of the mechanical monsters that thunder by every day. Evening descends early along these parts as people fold their final chores and a stoic silence engulfs the small houses. The backwaters ripple in perfect cadence with the gentle evening breeze. I see a distorted reflection of the mechanical monster I’m riding all along the backwaters in a perfect rebellion of man against nature. A seagull flies low over the backwaters not realizing how lucky it would be to get a catch. Colors are so vividly green as if telling you that all other colors are only a figment of your imagination. Beautiful little railway stations that would spring up with life even when a single train stopped there through the course of the entire day. Sweet strains of Fleet Foxes’ Blue Ridge Mountains plays on my headphones. Words pour out when you travel in solitude.

I don’t hate people, but I seem to feel better when they’re not around – Charles Bukowski (quote adapted)